I feel as though I have lost all hope. A large weight has shifted onto my shoulders that I can’t bear to take off. The responsibility. The knowledge. If I don’t do it, who will? I know more than they do. It is my duty to save this. To save us. As a community, as a city, as a state, as a country, as a figure of the world.
If I don’t do it –
Time warps all around me.
There is a timer in my ear.
A coach yelling at me to go faster.
My parents telling me to hurry up –
or I may be late.
My head is spinning in circles.
Going through the motions over and over.
Slowly my legs begin to get tired.
The energy is starting to run out.
I scream at myself inside.
“There is no way I can stop now!”
The finish line is near.
As I near the end of the race,
The finish line gets farther and farther away.
And look back.
And realize I haven’t moved an inch from where I stared.
She moves to the sound of her own wind.
Completely oblivious to what’s around.
Something can catch her attention,
But lose it the second time around.
I want to know her,
The ins and the outs.
Yet something pushes me out.
She’s free, a spirit at heart.
Although she does seem lonely enough.
I want to know you,
Free child of mine.
But you put up a wall so fine.
Your beauty astounds me somehow.
The way you prance around.
So light and airy, without a sound.
What can I do right now?
To know the person you are deep down.
Losing a part of me that always exists.
Where did you go?
Dear friend of mine.
You were there just moments ago
Laughing and living the life we once had known.
Then one day I awoke from a slumber
To find you had left without even a note.
Someday I wish to see you again
Even if it is briefly momentary.
All I can hope
Is that I see you again soon.
Farewell old love of mine.
I am enclosed,
trapped but with consent.
Slowly but surely,
my limbs become more manageable.
The warmth of the sun is gleaming through,
yet I am still cold inside.
Time can only tell,
when it will all collapse.
For the day is near,
the day my wings will be spread.