Exotic Love

Your hair is always frizzy

because you don’t use conditioner.

The brown belt with the black shoes

clearly don’t go.

Eating carrots made you say

you just lost one kilogram.

The look you have on your face

is always so confusing to me.

I say how hard you are to read

as you say you’ve heard that many times before.

You act like a high schooler when we’re in bed.

You don’t tell me how you feel.

You are so behind on all the trends.

But I still can’t help but love the way you

make me laugh –

tell me I’m beautiful –

look at me the way you do –

remind me of emotions so hidden away –

laugh with your hands covering your mouth –

look so helpless all the time –

make me want to call you mine –

smile at everything you see –

listen to me speak of philosophy.

All the things I thought I wanted

you changed it all for me.

Now you are on the other side of the world.

God,

what I would do to tell you how I feel right now.

New Me

Don’t you see?

I am still me.

Even if I do things a little differently.

But if you look deep down inside.

I am still the same person you knew from before.

Just living a life I always wished to know.

Testing the waters of adventure and curiosity.

Spending my time in a foreign sea.

But if you came back to me,

You’d see,

I am the same blonde haired girl that used to live next door.

Sitting, Waiting

It’s always these moments.

The times where the wind blows a little more gently –

Pulling out old memories –

And replacing them with my new life.

I think of you.

As I watch you leave with the overflowing sky line.

I try to forget all that was left behind.

Because it’s easier to pretend it never really happened to begin with.

Yet,

Days like this bring me back to it all.

The simplicity.

And constant serendipity.

I remember your wild spirit.

How drawn I was to it all.

Things are so different from those times.

All the memories I left behind.

Crashing with the waves of those summer skies.

Do you feel me there when I am so far away?

I have waited many hours.

For my soul to release from my body.

I don’t know where I go from here.

Is this the end for us now?

So out of control.

I am watching from a distance into me.

While watching you see me.

And turn your back away.

Because I am now so far gone.

With no intention to return home.

This is my pre-determined destiny.

Sing my song to all that you meet.

We may be so far gone.

But it will always end with you and me.

Even if it is just our fading memories.

Ignorance

You turn your blind eye,

So daddy’s money can keep you cruising along by.

If you don’t know it exists,

It never happened to begin with?

More money,

Equals more fun.

So who cares about the ones at the end of the race?

They should’ve trained harder in the first place.

Oh,

But what if they had the advantage of yours?

Then maybe they wouldn’t have had to go begging on the streets everyday for more.

And they could’ve spent more time at the gym.

Then maybe,

You wouldn’t even be with him.

And with this mindset,

Will always breed,

An endless race of running around the same track over and over again.

Smokey Woman

She moves to the sound of her own wind.

Completely oblivious to what’s around.

Something can catch her attention,

But lose it the second time around.

I want to know her,

The ins and the outs.

Yet something pushes me out.

She’s free, a spirit at heart.

 Although she does seem lonely enough.

I want to know you,

Free child of mine.

But you put up a wall so fine.

Your beauty astounds me somehow.

The way you prance around.

So light and airy, without a sound.

Tell me,

What can I do right now?

To know the person you are deep down.

10 Year Unplanned

They ask me,

So nonchalantly,

Where I see myself in years divisible by 10.

I respond in a manner so sure of myself,

“Maybe in an office or in a lab doing research”.

They smile at my responsible response.

Then they murmur amongst themselves of how proud they are of me.

How I have turned into such a young adult.

But,

What they don’t know,

Is how I really see my future.

I see myself sitting in front of a window that overlooks a snowy Brooklyn.

Writing screenplays and listening to symphonies.

Going to art gallery openings presenting the best artists in the world.

Flying to France to experience the culture of love.

Meeting models and musicians and chefs from great talent.

Making love to the sweet, sweet sound of rain in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Falling for people, places, foods, smells, sounds, words, so many words.

Listening to a beautiful man read his poetry to me in a language native to him.

Waking up to the sunlight flooding onto my face overlooking mountainous ranges.

Feeling the radiating beauty that embodies the essence of this life.

My future,

It is full of happiness and sadness and excitement and love and pain.

My future,

It isn’t something I can explain on a blank questioner.

My future can only be felt – shared through the raw connections of wonder.

Choose Love

I read a quote the other day that basically says that once we start seeking love, love will then begin to seek us. This doesn’t mean looking at everyone for a potential lover or going out to end up in a strangers bed in the morning. No, seeking love is feeling passionate and strongly for something or someone. Think of being in love. All the emotions involved. When you love someone, they become a part of you; your identity alters slightly with the new addition of another soul. Loving someone is the purest form of intensity that a person can feel. Therefore, seeking love is the act of searching for that feeling of intensity. You take more time out of your day to do things that you like, whether it be painting or going to the library. Creating the effort to break free from the daily cycle of life that is so consuming takes strength and will. Yet, it is most rewarding because it ignites love. Seek the passion and fire that resides in your inner soul. Seek for that love for living. Love is what drives life. Therefore, once you begin seeking love, love will find you.